Habits of Effective Families, Part 1: Be Proactive

Sept 3 Mon- Mt 5 Sept 4 Tues- 1 John 1, 4 Sept 5 Wed - Eph 4

Sept 6 Thr– James 1, 5 Sept 7 Fri- Mt 18 Sept 8 Sat – Col 3

PRAYER: A - Adoration(prayer of centering; focus on God's goodness)

C - Confession(prayer of repentance and asking for God's forgiveness)

T - Thanksgiving(prayer of gratefulness, content, joy, avoiding pessimism)

S - Supplication(prayer for others; then pray for yourself)

S - STOPand listen... give God some time to speak to you--- end with the LORD'S PRAYER

1. Mt 5:13-16, "You are salt of the earth; You are Light of the World."

- question for our purposes: How do you define "earth" and "world"?

- Acts 1:8, "Jerusalem, Judea, to uttermost ends of the earth

a. Concentric circles - from you, to family, to friends, to ends of the earth

2. What is the "salt-light" you are supposed to be shining/sharing, given family?

- 1 John 1:8-10 - No one's family is perfect. We all are a mess (have sin)

3. The first step towards getting your family in order is =

A. Recognize the Problem = Sin, the human condition (it is not "them")

B. Embrace/accept the Solution = How does a human being overcome sin?

- John 15:5, "without Me, you can do nothing"; only Jesus heals human condition

- a parent/spouse is never enough "motivation" to change on a heart level

- the only true "fix" for your family, is to fix what is going on in your hearts

4. 1 John 4:7-16: God is love. Your quality of life depends on the quality of your love-relationships, but your relationships will never be better than the quality of your walk with Jesus. Why? Because "God is love." - no other path to lasting love

5. Mt 22:36-40: The Great Commandment - "What is most important for you over the course of your entire life is this: (1) that you love God with your complete self; (2) that you love other people; and, (3) that you love yourself

A. Application: Love is an action verb (no love without action)

B. You are Light of the World (Don't put a cover over the lamp)

6. 4 ways we respond to dysfunction

A. Spectrum: Passive (ignore) vs. Reactive (mindless response)

B. Moving towards a better solution: Between stimulus-response, there is space. In that space lies our freedom-power to choose our response. In our response, lies the potential for growth, freedom, and health. (or not)

- Be Proactive - you act in healthy ways regardless of their response

- Be Interactive - you work with them in healthy ways to enact change

7. Application? Discipleship that Changes Your Family (2nd to 3rd base; all "Laws")

A. Control Yourself 1st (Put aside all bitterness, losing your temper, anger, shouting, slander (Mt 12:25); Be kind, compassionate, and forgive) - Eph 4:31-32

B. Be a good listener ("quick to listen; slow to speak") - James 1:19

C. Apologize-confess your sin contributions - James 5:16; 1 John 1:8-9

D. Be Honest (Mt 5:37), with Courage (1 Cor 16:13), and Boundaries (Mt 18:15)

E. Forgive, regardless of their response - Col 3:12-13

8: How specifically is Jesus asking you to be salt/light to your family?

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Habits of Effective Families, Part 2: Begin with the End in Mind

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Church and Family with Dr. Shirley (4 of 4)