Seek the Win-Win (Ch 4: 7 Habits of Effective Families)

Sept 24 Mon - Mt 7

Sept 25 Tues - Mt 18

Sept 26 Wed - Rom 7

Sept 27 Thr – Mt 5

Sept 28 Fri - Eph 6

Sept 29 Sat – Psalm 46

PRAYER: A - Adoration (prayer of centering; focus on God's goodness)

C - Confession (prayer of repentance and asking for God's forgiveness)

T - Thanksgiving (prayer of gratefulness, content, joy, avoiding pessimism)

S - Supplication (prayer for others; then pray for yourself)

S - STOP and listen... give God some time to speak to you --- end with the LORD'S PRAYER

A. How does it feel to be cheated/at the "losing" end of any transaction?

- 2 Things People almost always hate: 1. Being Told What to Do; 2. Losing

- No one wants to play a "game" with a person who won't follow the rules. Why?

- Whoever is "making up the rules," inevitably will "win" the game

- Not only the game, they will win the "Argument", the "issue", etc.

- from games to life itself: no fun unless everyone "plays by" the rules

B. Ch. 4, "Effective Families Learn How to Create the Win-Win" (no losers)

- 3 Scenarios For Every "end game"/argument? Lose-Win, Win-Lose, Win-Win

- Lose-Lose? In truth, Lose-Win + Win-Lose scenarios are Lose-Lose. Why?

a. Lose = to suffer the loss of, to be deprived of, to fail to keep

- in family "arguments/issues," what is the "loser" actually "losing"?

- Do you ever desire to lose an argument/issue at home? Why not?

C. What is the "Basic" (Golden) Rule All of Us Expect from Others in Life?

- Mt 7:12, "Therefore, Do unto others, what you would have them do unto you."

1. "THEREFORE," = points back to all that was said (entire sermon on mount)

2. What is the point of Jesus' Sermon on the Mount? Of all God's teachings?

- God teaching us how to love Him, others, and ourselves (healthy) correctly

- From specifics (pray for those who persecute you) to Generalities/the gray

1. In the gray areas, what is the right thing to do? Do Unto Others...

C. Where this applies to Family? Most family "issues" are not black and white.

- Your "Rule" of thumb in those situations? Treat them as you want to be treated

- starting point for almost all "good decisions" (no one wants to lose)

- Family/marriage wants a fair fight, yes? So, what are the "rules"?

D. What kind of marriages would we have, if BOTH spouses sought the win-win?

- Eph 5:21, "Husbands and wives, submit to one another" = Win-Win only option

NOTE! Eph 5:22, "For example" = Ex of what? = mutual submission in Eph 5:21

- What does mutual submission look like in an argument? Win-Lose? Lose-Win?

E. 3 Problems with applying the Golden Rule (actually living "win-win" in family):

1. Problem with ME (Rom 7:15-25 – "I want to do right, but I don't" - apologize)

2. Problem of other people (Mt. 18:15-20 - Healthy confrontation/boundaries)

3. Problem of principalities (Eph. 6:12, "struggle is not against flesh/blood")

F. If they don't seek win-win, why should I? Mt 5:13-16, "You are salt/light..."

G. Other Helps: 1. Get your Life Right w/Jesus (Psalm 46 - God will Help You)

2. Take Care of SELF (Serenity/time out. Exercise. Love. Food.)

3. Remember the Vision (the goal, the why, the purpose/point)